Being a Mum with Alopecia
By Shea
When I got pregnant with my first baby I remember being so excited. Would it be a girl or a boy? Would she love to dance or would he play football? When we found out we were having a girl I was ecstatic! Being a dance teacher all I could think was the gorgeous little tutus I’d be able to dress her up in.
But after all the excitement had subsided I started to think about my life as a little girl and how it was all rainbows and fairies. I started to think about when I lost my hair and how hard things were for me going through school and being bullied. Would my beautiful baby girl have to go through these things? Had I passed this horrible condition on to her?
When she was born she was perfect. Ten fingers and ten toes. I was worse for wear but I loved her all the same!
Fast forward to today, I now have two beautiful girls with two very full heads of hair. In the past few weeks I have been brushing my eldest daughters hair (she is 5 and nearing the age I was when my Alopecia begun) and noticed she had a lot of hair coming out. I felt sick to my stomach. Was her hair falling out? Is it my fault? So searching through her hair I went to see if I could find any patches. None. Not one. Am I being super paranoid? Am I being a crazy mum? Or am I just being a normal worried mother who lost her hair as a little girl?
I decided to call my mum and ask her opinion. She explained to me she remembers feeling the same sick to your stomach, ball your eyes out kind of feeling when my hair began to fall out. I have never looked at things from my mums perspective. I have only ever thought about how hard everything was for me. So I put myself in my mums shoes and thought about the devastation she must’ve felt watching my full head of hair diminish away to nothing. And I felt guilt. Guilt that I had put her through that and guilt that I’d never considered how it effected the rest of my family.
She said to me “this is something you’ll probably worry about for the rest of your life. But what better person to have around if it does happen than the girls mum?”. She’s right. She’s always right. That’s why she’s my mum – Because no matter what happens she’s there. And so I decided regardless if my daughters loose their hair or keep their hair, all that matters that I am there for them and support them and help them to be strong,confident, loved women. Just as my mum has done for me.
