At the age of 29 (almost 25 years ago), my hairdresser told me that I had a few bald spots on the back of my head, roughly the size of 20/50 cent pieces. The spots were under my long, thick dark hair so I never saw them myself. Each time my hairdresser would check for me and let me know that the spots appeared and disappeared randomly. It never bothered me as they always grew back and I could never see the impact.

One summer, when I tied my hair up, my husband told me that there was no hair in a strip at the back of my hair, ear to ear. It still didn’t bother me as I couldn’t see it and I presumed that it would grow back, which it did. I just wore my hair down that summer.

Towards the end of 2020, now 50 years old, I noticed that my eyebrows were disappearing. This was the first time the loss of hair had impacted the way I looked and I started getting anxious. I saw a dermatologist and, after discussing my history of spots, he confirmed that I had alopecia areata and suggested that it was likely the eyebrows would grow back in the same way that my spots always did. He also gave me a topical steroid to try. In the months that followed, my eyebrows completely disappeared. I became more and more sensitive to the loss and when looking in the mirror, I didn’t feel like myself at all. Without my eyebrows, I felt my face had no definition and as a consequence when I looked in the mirror, I didn’t recognise the person I saw. I became very self-conscious and felt like everyone was looking at me. Little did I know, there was more to come!

One Monday morning, mid-April 2021, I noticed a lot of hair on my brush. That evening, even more came out. This continued for a few days and it became clear that if the loss continued at that rate, I would very quickly have nothing left. I quickly booked an appointment with my GP who didn’t really offer much comfort or suggestions. Within 2 weeks, there was so little left that I decided to cut it all off, leaving me with a bald head. I was surprised how much it helped me mentally to cut it all off however it was also devastating as I hadn’t realised how much of my identity had been tied into my long, thick hair.

Adjusting to living with alopecia was very challenging. Despite having a loving, supportive family, it can be very difficult to look in the mirror each day and feel good about myself. I started off always covering my head with caps and scarves. Unfortunately, hitting menopause at the same time as losing my hair meant that I was also being hit with hot flushes which meant having my head covered with caps/scarves (let alone wigs!) was quite uncomfortable.

I’ve always loved singing and in early 2020 I joined a local women’s community choir. A couple of months before I lost my hair, one of my friends at choir was going through chemotherapy (for the second time) and had lost her hair. She would come to the choir with her head covered but often during rehearsal, she would take off her scarf, showing her bald hair. I knew that a number of the women had been through cancer battles and I could see how supportive and encouraging they were regarding such health challenges. The accepting atmosphere gave me the confidence to remove my cap for the first time in public (during a rehearsal) since losing my hair and even to go without covering my head at our mid-year concert in July 2021. For me, I’ve found that singing is a lot like practising mindfulness- there is no room for thinking about myself as I’m so busy focusing on the words and music.

I’ve thought about applying for an AAAF sponsorship for a while now but wasn’t sure I was ready to share my story more broadly. Lately, I’ve remembered how helpful it was for me to read the stories of others when I was first diagnosed with Alopecia Universalis and decided to apply. Aside from letting people know about the great support the AAAF provides, I’m hoping to encourage others who might be struggling to come to terms with the challenges of alopecia to think about participating in a social activity such as joining a community choir. It has made such a difference in my life and I’ll forever be grateful to the wonderful women at the Community Choir and Strike a Chord who continue to make me feel like I can take on the world.